


Dementia

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, Inner Dialogue, Internal Conflict, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two windows open on a far wall.  One is tinted, and one is clear.  Through the tinted one, he can see a towering bookcase.  Through the clear window he sees Arima.</p><p><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dementia">Dementia</a><br/>2.   madness, insanity, a fanaticism bordering on dementia</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dementia

**Author's Note:**

> _Your innermost thoughts appear physically._  
>  _Cataclysm is bound to everything._  
>  _The event horizon;_  
>  _there is no escaping, inescapable._  
>  _Light speeds, black holes, time lapse;_  
>  _we're unstable._  
> [Dementia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ9Ae6x_XA8)  
>  Erra

Sasaki sits in the middle of a dark room. He does not know how he got there, but he knows that he has inhabited it for a long time. His eyes are not focused, so used to the dark as he is, but beneath his hands is rough wood, and beneath his feet is smooth tile, and both of these things are familiar and foreign at once. Sometimes, he feels sharp pains in his fingers and in his skull. Sometimes, he hears distant screaming. But mostly, the room is silent.

Silent, until now.

Two windows open on a far wall. One is tinted, and one is clear. Through the tinted one, he can see a towering bookcase, half filled with books he’s not sure he’s seen before. It does not look like the one in Arima’s office, or the one in Arima’s home, but somehow Sasaki knows that it belongs to his father. Then, through the clear window he sees Arima himself, strafing and blocking and slashing with IXA. Sasaki does not understand the scene, does not understand the din of conflict that filters through it, does not understand the idle thoughts that zip around him but do not quite connect.

The cacophony has his full attention, and he does not notice when a dark figure eases up to him. He does not hear the quiet footsteps on the smooth checkerboard tile.

“Sasaki.” The figures says, softly, and his attention snaps to it. He looks up, and into his own face. But...it is not his face. It is…

“Ah. Kaneki-san. I thought you’d forgotten about me.” Sasaki murmurs, a fractured smile passing over his face. “What’s happening out there?” Kaneki sighs and looks toward the windows.

“We are fighting Arima-san.”

“Oh.”

“I know that he is important to you.”

“Yes.”

“You can go back to sleep if you like.”

“No.” Sasaki smiles again. “It is a comfort seeing him again, even if it is the face of death rather than that of my father.” Kaneki winces, wrings his gloved hands.

“He’s not our father.” He says quietly.

“He’s not _your_ father.” Sasaki corrects.

“He wants to kill Touka-chan. Did you know that?” Kaneki murmurs after a moment, searching Sasaki’s eyes for some spark of recognition.

“Of course.” He replies, chuckling lightly. “Kirishima-san is a ghoul. Arima-san kills ghouls. The logic is simple.”

“You don’t care?” Kaneki’s eyes widen with surprise. His hands clench.

“Of course I care.” Sasaki snorts. “But there’s not much we can do about it.”

“We can kill Arima-san.”

“We are not going to kill Arima-san.”

“You sound sure.”

“I am sure.” Sasaki snorts again, rubs his face with his hands, and leans forward.

“He’ll make a mistake.” Kaneki tries again.

“No, he won’t.”

“There. He’s made one there.” Kaneki points at the clear window, at Arima’s back. He’s turned away, with IXA held over his head and behind him. He tenses, begins to turn, then thinks better of it and leaps to the side. His quinque slashes, and his voice booms in their room.

“Stop playing around.” Kaneki flinches. Sasaki does not.

“Arima-san never makes mistakes.” He muses, softly, watching the tinted window change to a warped version of the clear one. Kaneki glares at him.

“If we don’t kill him, he’ll kill us.” He snaps, his eyes narrowed beneath his dark hair. Sasaki blinks at him.

“I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“It was.”

“What changed?”

“Touka-chan.”

“Ah… I see.”

They fall silent and watch the fight for a moment. Arima is winning.

“We just have to hold him off.” Kaneki says, more to himself than to Sasaki. “Just a little longer. Long enough for Ayato-kun to get them out.”

“We won’t win.” Sasaki says. Kaneki is silent.

They are losing, and Arima is speaking, but Sasaki can’t focus anymore. He is so tired. This is the longest he’s been awake in months. The fighting continues forever. They break IXA, but that is not enough to stop the Reaper. Sasaki doesn’t know why Kaneki wants to fight so much. He thought he’d wanted to die.

He is dozing when a loud crash jolts him awake. His head snaps up, eyes searching wildly first for Kaneki, and then for Arima beyond the windows. Only the tinted one remains.

“He’s made a mistake.” Kaneki says calmly from the shadows beside it. “Come and see.”

Sasaki stands, makes his way to where Kaneki is, and peers out. Just as a kagune he does not recognize surges forward and takes Arima’s feet out from under him. He lands flat on his back, his quinque skittering away with the force of it, and they are on him before he has a chance to get up.

“We’re going to kill Arima-san.” Kaneki comments, a smile spreading across his face. “Finally.” The kagune lurches, then drives straight down and through Arima’s chest.

_“NO!”_

Sasaki blinks in the sudden light. He does not understand the crusty mask that covers his face, does not understand the mouths that sprout from his kagune to lap at Arima’s blood. He scrabbles at the mask with his nails, struggling until finally it comes apart in his hands, then tears the tendrils of RC cells away from his mentor’s body.

“No, no, no, Arima-san please, say something.” He gasps, reaching forward to press his hands to the gaping wound in Arima's chest.

“Ah...ha.” Arima sighs, his eyes fluttering open. His hands grope for a moment, finds Sasaki’s arms, and closes around them. “H-Haise.” He coughs. Blood stains his mouth.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop him. I tried, I swear, but...he was so strong.” Sasaki sobs, leaning his weight forward, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. It was true. He’d tried for a long time to stop Kaneki. Tried for a long time to take his body back. Why had this time been different? Now that it didn’t matter anymore?

“I...know.” Arima rasps. One hand reaches and presses against Sasaki’s cheek. “You did well...Haise.” He makes a strange sound, caught somewhere between a cough and a laugh, and smiles gently. “You are…” Then he gasps, chokes, coughs again. A hissing breath rattles in his throat, and Sasaki closes his eyes. He puts on hand over Arima’s, turns his face into it to hide his tears, and does not see when his mentor’s eyes fix. When his _father’s_ eyes fix.

The CCG’s White Reaper is dead.

Somewhere in the distance is the pounding of footsteps, and the shouting of other investigators. He hears the opening of briefcases all around him, the quinques screeching as they take their forms, and feels his left eye twitch. In his head, Kaneki laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick, messy oneshot. Took a lot of creative license with these recent chapters, and this is what I came up with. I do not want this to happen. I have fallen in love with Arima and I'm just really conflicted and emotional about this arc right now. *sobs*
> 
> Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this fic :D


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